Love Lessons And Questions I Learned Post My Break Up

** Disclaimer: All these thoughts were not necessarily experienced in this relationship per se. I just wanted to share any and all thoughts for those going through a heartache right now as they have brought peace and healing to me.

• It’s ok to change your mind and want different things now. You’re not married or engaged. That’s what dating is– figuring out what you want, like and need in a forever partner.
• The grass may be greener on the other side but it is also green where you water it. 
• It takes two to tango and if one of you stops tanging then that’s going to be hard.
• Love can not be the ultamite factor that sustains a long-term relationship let alone marriage.
• If you are asking those questions…(listen to that, get curious as to why those questions are coming up) they may save you from spending more time with someone than you need.
• Share your needs with your partner, and if they are reasonable but they can’t meet them or choose not to, move on. (vice versa) 
•  Yes, there could be history, and time has passed, but if you’re not happy now, you won’t be satisfied when the ring is there or after the ceremony. 
• Ending a relationship is not giving up. I repeat, ending the realtionship is not giving up.
• The biggest question to ask yourself: Is this what I want? Truly, is this what I want? Feelings and love can overpower rational decisions and the honeymoon hormone phase, so logically ask yourself this question before it’s too late. 
• Do I want to be with this person, or do I fear being alone? and or never finding someone because the dating world is brutal?
• Have you told yourself: It’s better to hold onto this because I’m scared I might not have better. No– do not stay out of fear or fear of never finding someone. 
• Even though you talked marriage, they might not be the person you marry, it just means you’ve talked marraige. They could be in your life to teach you or each other something if you look beyond the relationship. 
• DO NOT SETTLE. DO NOT SETTLE. DO NOT SETTLE. DO NOT SETTLE. oh, DO NOT SETTLE.
• If you have non-negotiables and you have to change them to keep this person… don’t. They are your non-negotiables for a reason. 
• Actions speak louder than words. Let me repeat, action speak louder than words. 
• It’s better to be alone than to be alone in a relationship. 
• If you have hestiations, listen to those hesitiations. Discuss with others those hestitaitons to see if they are legit or just fears.
• If there are patterns LOOK AT THOSE PATTERNS.
• Trust is earned, not given. TRUST IS EARNED, NOT GIVEN!
• Do you have strong sexual chemistry or “the spark” ? Great! But tread lightly or better yet, run for the hills because sexual chemistry cannot hold a relationship (especially if you are an empath)
• Just because they like you does not mean you need to be in a relationship with them.
• What can I learn in this relationship and how do I apply it going foward?
• Love and feelings faid so at the end of the day it’s about choosing to love this person despite how you may be feeling. But if loving this person is out of a chore or a to-do list, I’d think twice of why you’re still here.
• If they tell you, you deserve better, listen to them!! (the one thing cosmo magazine did get right– read those columns when I was a teenager haha!)
• Are you falling inlove with the idea of them or with them? Are you in love with who they are in your head or with who they truly are as a person.
• Don’t be in a relationship just to be in a realtionship.
• You’re not needy, they just don’t know how to meet you where you are and thats ok. You get to decide if you want to stay or go find someone who can meet your needs.
• Do you have anything in common and what you have is it enough?
• Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me.
• Love can be blind.
• Love is one of the most dangerous emotions there is.
• Notice body lanuage ques. How they look at you, talk to you, turn to you.
• Love is a legit drug. Being in love is beautiful and they can do no wrong. That’s why you have to come at it from a logical stand point too and come down from the clouds and ask the hard questions.